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Sat 23rd August, 2003 |
Dr Martens Premier League |
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Hinckley United 2 - 0 Tiverton Town |
| Hinckley: |
 |
Whittle |
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Cartwright |
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Lenton |
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Crowley |
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Penny
 |
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Bailey |
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Storer |
 |
Jackson |
 |
Smith |
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Jenkins
(Tucker 70mins) |
 |
Murray
(Dyer
80mins) |
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| Tiverton: |
| 1. |
Fraser |
| 2. |
Aubrey
(Harris 80mins) |
| 3. |
Goff |
| 4. |
Rees |
| 5. |
Rudge |
| 6. |
Cousins |
| 7. |
Winter |
| 8. |
Holloway |
| 9. |
Pears |
| 10. |
Mudge |
| 11. |
Chenoweth
(Steel 20mins) |
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| Goals: |
| Penny, 2 mins |
1 - 0 |
| Dyer, 90 mins |
2 - 0 |
| |
| Half Time: |
1 - 0 |
| Full Time: |
2 - 0 |
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the Hird Dimension: |
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Hello my darlings, well from my stairlift in heaven I've been looking down on
you all, and in particular that lovely football team in red & blue. Me and
Jimi Hendrix love a bit of 'knitting' of an evening and we really can't wait for
Geri Halliwell to join us for a threesome. Knit one, Perl one, deary. So we
thought what better way to pass our time than to follow the Knitter's football
team.
There isn't that lovely, then. |
Ooooh well me and Jimi were promised a belter of a game against Tiverton. I tell
you what dearies we weren't disappointed. With only a minute gone I nearly spilled
my tea and Jimi dropped his doobie. Jamie Lenton certainly had his 'lights on' as
he sent over a perfect cross from the left for the unmarked Andy Penny to head
Hinckley into a 1-0 lead. Hinckley were coming forward in numbers as Chris Smith
and Leon Jackson tried to open up the Tivvy defence. That lovely young Neil
Cartwright had a very good chance on the half hour. He got the ball on the right
cut inside past Robin Cousins, oh silly me Rob Cousins though I do like a nice
bit of ice skating, and had a shot at goal just going wide. "Well I never" I
said to Jimi "that Nathan Rudge, all he does is moan, moan, moan." At this point
I thought the Angel Gabriel had come for him. He went down as if he'd been shot
by a sniper, but then I turned round and saw that Gabriel and Harvey-Oswald were
in the games room playing table tennis doubles with Jesus and Napoleon. Anyway
that Rudge oooh he was nasty man, all elbows and shirt pulling, why doesn't he
play football? Towards the end of the first half Tivvy began to get into the
game. Chris Holloway had his back to goal as the ball came across the face and
he sort of shot on the turn bicycle style but went straight into the hands of
Tommy Whittle. Holloway again fed Jamie Mudge moments later and before he had a
chance to shoot Andy Penny came across and cut the ball away from him. Still with
Tivvy on the attack another cross was sent in and Tommy Whittle came out and took
it under pressure, no doubt it was probably from that nasty man Nathan Rudge. My
favourite young man Neil Cartwright put in another one of his good crosses but
Leon Jackson again was just over. Right as the first half was finishing Tivvy's
number 9 Richard Pears found himself in front of goal with only Whittle to beat.
He must've been thinking about which silly hair style he could have next because he
blasted high and wide when it was easier to score. Our Jimi was sniggering between
drags. The first half finished 1-0 to Hinckley but Tiverton beginning to get back
into the match.
Hinckley had the first chances of the second half. With 10 minutes gone they had
a couple of corners but Justin Jenkins ended up putting the ball over. For most
of the second half onwards Tiverton had the lions share of the possession. Richard
Pears headed into Tommy's hands and Chris Holloway had a chance wide. 20 minutes
into the second half that horrible, horrible Nathan Rudge took out his steel chair
and clubbed Justin Jenkins around the head. It's not WWF meltdown you know, and
the referee never even booked him. Good old Shirley Crabtree was watching over
my shoulder and he was quite impressed with Rudge. "Easy, easy, easy" he said to
me. Dean Thomas decided he wanted some fresh legs up front so he brought on his
substitutes Brad Piercewright, Wayne Dyer and the 'human crab' Simon Tucker. Brad
Pitt, ooh sorry Piercewright, had a superb chance straight away. Jamie Lenton played
him through in the middle and he took one touch too many as Stuart Fraser raced off
his line to smother the shot with his legs. In injury time, mostly added on for
Rudge's gunshot wounds, Tiverton were throwing everything forward after an
equaliser when Hinckley broke away and Wayne Dyer found himself in acres of space
and he placed the ball wide of Fraser into the bottom left hand corner to make it
a 2-0 final score to Hinckley.
With the local derby on monday I'm stocking up on wool & tea bags while Jimi's
getting another ounce of Moroccan - it could be a long night. |
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